tim mossholder bo3SHP58C3g unsplash

Welcome!

We provide

scientific and educational information

on Body Integrity Identity Disorder

 

 If you want to share YOUR STORY please click here 

 

The story of a person with BIID: have a look at this Documentary

 

Desiring to remove a limb 

I am Daniel, and I want to lose my legs, both of them, below my knees. I recall that it all started when I was young, a child, and I realized I did not wanted these legs, they did not belong there. I kept quiet about it and hoped it will go away until quite a bit later. But it not go away.  

I told my fiancé about this a year ago, and since then we have split up. She could not accept I want something like this. She told me I wanted a disability, while in the world there is plenty of people who become disabled after an accident and would kill to be like me. I understand her, I do, but what can I say? I have been like this since years and cannot really change only because I know it is not something to be desired. I tried to go to a psychologist, but he did not know about BIID, and he did not know how to help. I stopped going, and hence Jeanette left me. Since then I am alone.  

I have not told anyone else, and I am a bit scared someone at work finds out. I think I could lose my job.  

Sometimes I wonder if hypnotherapy would work. I have read that it can cause paralysis, for instance. So I wonder if it works the other round too. It would be nice if it would. I have not tried this yet though. Because of the money too. I do not have much savings to invest on this.  

I might at some point resort on “home” methods. I read online that some people use ice to damage their legs, and then go to the ER and they get an amputation. I might try this. Then I would be ok and not thinking of BIID all the time! 

Desiring to be blind 

My name is Francine and I have always been a bit different. Maybe more than a bit.  I’ve had BIID since about 7 years old. I always wanted to be visually impaired to the point of being legally blind. I should not be seeing. I know this sounds strange, but that’s it. I did not know it was BIID in the beginning: I discovered only recently it could be BIID, when I read the story of a woman form the US who had the same desire I do.  

Since then I started reading and found an online community of people with similar desires. What a relief to discover I am not the only one in the world. I can’t find any methods that wouldn’t be horribly painful to obtain what I want and I am too scared to try anything. I have heard of other people trying things, but I am not sure I have the guts to. Really looking for some support, but too afraid to tell my husband. So I am stuck with this desire (I am 36 years old now) and do not know what to do.